This Woman

Last night, I saw a woman I have known my whole life.
I’ve seen her face thousands of times.
Last night she looked different.
Last night I noticed something had changed.
I stared deep into her eyes for several minutes.

First I saw a newborn baby girl recovering from surgery.
She felt so alone and abandoned in that incubator…
…because no one could hold her…
She knew her daddy was very afraid…
…until she saw Jesus pick her up,
               smiling as He held her,
           singing to her…
He then handed her to her daddy
                          and told them both that everything would be all right.

Next I saw an 8-year-old little girl huddled in a dark corner…
      …because some older kids started a “game”
which quickly degenerated into something
                       very dark,
                  very disturbing,
           very degrading.
She was scared, confused, anxious, and very timid…
…until Jesus took her hand,
                held her,
and assured her that He had hold of her now.
         He would stay with her,
                  and would never let go.

Then I saw a 16-year-old girl curled up into a ball of confusion and disbelief…
           …because he would not stop until he had taken everything he wanted.
She was all alone in her shame, guilt, self-hatred, and anger…
…until she looked over and saw Jesus kneeling beside the bed,
weeping for her,
                   and then weeping with her,
                         stroking her hair,
        and telling her,
Everything will be fine.
This is why I came.
This is why I surrendered to the cross.
Give it to me.
It’s mine.
I’ll repay.
You don’t have to carry this anymore.

Finally I saw a 32-year-old woman, standing in a field of wildflowers,
           a soft breeze blowing her hair back,
                   she was smiling,
and looking up as the rays of sunshine fell down on her face,
         experiencing the sweet taste of freedom…
…because she had been delivered…

Delivered from the bondage she had been prisoner to for most
of her life.
             …some of which has had a hold on her family for generations…

She remembered feeling…
                     Abandonment…Rejection…Self-rejection…
           Worthlessness…Inadequacy…Perfectionism…
                                    Shame…Guilt…Self-hatred…
                  Anger…Bitterness…Resentment…
     Vengeance…Death…Destruction…
                    Worry…Anxiety…Fear…
           Rebellion…Fantasy…Deception…
                             Doubt…Confusion…Insecurity…
…until she handed it all over to Jesus, and He cast it all away.

It was all a distant memory now.

I could see something in her eyes.

She knows she has many more memories and experiences buried deep that still require healing.
She knows it will take time to re-visit them and heal from them all.
She faces that with
         a new courage,
                        a fresh spirit,
                  renewed determination,
      and total dependence on her Friend.

When I used to look at this woman, I would see the flaws…
                  the unevenness of her eyebrows,
         the asymmetry of her lips,
                        the marks on her face that accumulated over the years,
              the scars,
                   the imperfections…

Last night, I looked at this woman, and I saw something new.

I saw peace.
I saw joy.
I saw serenity.
I saw a woman who embraced her femininity.
I saw a woman who was finally comfortable in her own skin.

I couldn’t help but smile at her.

I saw this woman again this morning.

She is a royal beauty…

She is the daughter of a King…

She is me.