Blossoming

I used to believe I was an extreme introvert. I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs assessment, and the results leaned almost completely that way. Crowds always exhausted me. Social interaction drained me. I would anticipate parties, family gatherings, and events with lots of people with great fear, anxiety, and sometimes terror. I would leave them ready to sleep for days.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I’m not such an introvert afterall. I now have so much fun, laugh, and play, and then leave Mom’s Night Out, social gatherings, and the like with great energy and a sense of fulfillment and connection.

What’s the difference? What changed?

A couple of years ago, I began to re-examine my life and relationships. The most important ones were not functioning well, despite the many efforts to make them work. As I prayed, and searched my past for clues as to why relationships were so dysfunctional or non-existent, memories I’d repressed since childhood and adolescence began returning to my consciousness. My mind would not allow me to ignore them any longer.

It took me a while–about a year, in fact–to process them enough, and muster up the courage, to share them with anyone else. As I did, I discovered the depth and the true meaning of healing through confession. Through sharing, confession, and a great counselor, little by little, the weight I’d been carrying for more than 20 years got lighter and lighter. Though I still have a way to go, I can hold onto the hope of, enjoy the journey toward, and believe in the promise of rephuah shelomah–complete and perfect healing.

I’m not usually the type of person who would join the blogging community, or take part in this “hip and edgy” stuff. I’m usually very reserved, guarded, and private. However, one thing that has become clear during this journey is that I’m called to bring glory to my Abba, Yahweh. The things I experience and learn are not just for me. He wants to speak to others as well. My prayer for this site is that as I continue to blossom, others will be able to see His tender mercy, His infinite grace, and His immense beauty.

Thanks for joining me on this journey…