My little Princess,

Tonight is our final class! Though we have learned so many valuable things, we are so excited to be done and ready to move to the next step. We’re hoping they will schedule our home study soon, and complete it quickly. We are so eager to learn more about you and bring you home. We want to know your favorite color so we can decorate your room soon. So many of our family and friends are excited and can’t wait to meet you. We have people at church praying for you, some who don’t even know us yet. Some even want to buy you welcome gifts, and have asked if we know your size.

This past weekend was the 4th of July. We barbequed at your aunt’s house. We had family from out of state visiting. I kept thinking how exciting it will be when we can introduce you to them, when you can play with your brothers and cousins. I long for next year when we can all sit together and watch in awe as the fireworks light up the sky.

The boys are so eager for you to come home. I love how they think of you already as a part of the family…even before they’ve met you. They ask questions about you. They include you in everything: talking about school, trips, church, pictures, toys, games, prayers. A few times we’ve bought them something, and they ask “which one is for Jenna?”

As I think about how close the day is approaching, I wonder how God is stirring your heart to get you ready to come home. Our hearts have been through many ups and downs during this long process. But we have pushed through and now are so close to the finish. We all just have to hang on a little longer, and continue to pray. Hang in there Princess. You’ll be home soon.

Love,

Mommy

Jenna,

Only three more classes to go! The weeks don’t seem to count down quickly enough, though we are learning alot. We had your brother’s birthday party this past weekend. We wish you could have been here to share it with us. We all got to be rock stars and decorated t-shirts. We tried to make a rock video. I wonder if you would be as camera shy as the rest of the kids ended up being.

We got our home inspection done this week. Our house is officially safe enough for kids. It’s also mommy-proofed, because to put stuff out of children’s reach, it’s now also out of my reach.

I got to see another family’s adoption finalized this morning. I kept thinking of you, and how that will hopefully be us soon. We are trying to wait patiently, though we are eager to bring you home.

Take care. I’m praying for you every day.

Love,

Mommy

Jenna,

This weekend, I’m going to work on putting together a picture book for you. The boys are going to write notes, and make flowers for you.

Last night in class, we discussed grief and loss. As I put myself in your shoes, my heart just broke for you. What you may have been through. How many times, and in how many ways, your heart has been broken. How it all has made you feel. I just wanted to hold you last night, rock you, sing over you, and tell you I love you.

I’m a bit scared, though. I’m worried that I may never get the chance. I’m worried that you may never get to call me mommy. I’m worried that if it all doesn’t work out, you may never know how much we love you, have prayed for you, and waited for you. You may never even know about us. You may never get to read this letter.

Some people hurt me when I was a little girl. The Big People are concerned that if you were hurt the same kind of way I was, that it may be too hard for us to be a family. I don’t think it would be as hard as they are worried it might be. Sure, I know it will be difficult. I know it won’t be easy by any means. If you have been hurt like I was, I know that it’s really confusing, scary, and just feels icky, and you have no idea what to do or say. You don’t know whether to scream, cry, pretend, or what.

But I know how to listen. How to be patient. How to be gentle. tender. safe. accepting. loving.

I’m not sure what will happen. But this I do know: Our Abba, our Daddy, is in control. He is with us. He always has been. Even through the really sad and really bad times. Even when we feel that no one else is around. He is there. I hope you can experience Him. I hope you can know His love.

You have been growing in my heart for several months now. I pray that I will get to hold you soon. To bring you home.

My deepest prayer, my strongest desire, is that even though you are not here now, that you will feel the amazing love for you that is in my heart. That you will know how much you are wanted. That you will know how much you are cared for. That you will know how special you are. That you will know you are a Princess.

I love you,

Mommy